Thursday, 9 October 2008

An introduction to my very messy life.

Hi, I'm Sammy except that's not actually my real name. I suppose I find it easier to be myself when I'm being someone else.
I'm almost 18 years old and am a girl from the city (London) who moved to a rural part of Wales about 4 years ago.
My first school didn't work out too well, I fell in with a bad crowd, druggies and just in general not a nice bunch of people but after acting up, not turning up and being thrown out I went to a gorgeous little private school where, shock horror , I became head girl. I loved that school so much, I made some really good friends there and towards the end of my last year I met a lovely guy who made me feel so good about myself.
Then I went to college where things have been eventful, the first few months were good, then I didn't like it then went back to liking it.
Anyway, my ex-boyfriend who I was with for a year and a half and then we went on a break where we ended up splitting up but stayed friends and slept together a few times after.
We split up 4 months ago and I was fine, I didn't really think we'd get back together, we were friends and I am seeing someone new I was fine with that until last week.
I met up with my ex-boyfriend, just as friends to go to the cinema and bowling but he was kissing me and hugging like we were back together. I don't know why I didn't ask him then what was going on but it was nice, you know? To be close like that with him again after such a long time.
I went back to his house and we ended up sleeping together but it wasn't some dirty thing I actually felt like it ment something, he was kissing me and holding me.... talking to him that night he was caring and talkative but a few days later it's back to where it was before. Friends but not quite coz he would rather be chatting to someone else than me, won't text me unless I text him and just generally not interested.
Now I have no idea where I stand, I told the guy I'm seeing what happened and he wants me to chose between them.
My state of mind at the moment is a bit fuzzy to say the least.
-Sammy

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